I really wish I had read this sort of article about 8 or 9 years ago. I doubt I would have failed to change what occurred (being stupidly in love and all), however I may have had a better idea why things went pear-shaped and not blamed myself quite as much.
For the record... I was the "Adult" in the relationship - a role that began innocuously enough (when he moved up he had one year of college left and I supported him through that financially and emotionally) and me being the designated "Nurturer" just never really ended.
Eventually by the end of it all (8 years later) I was so tired of being the ONLY one to worry about the bills, the finances and mortgage - that I resented his attitude so very much.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/15/opinion/sunday/the-downside-of-cohabiting-before-marriage.html
Ah well... should I ever find the courage to try again - I will know some things to avoid the next time around.
Pax [no longer such a romantic]
Yep. Nobody tells us what unmarried LTRs really teach - to cohabitate without mutual commitment. Spending years learning how to do it wrong, is NOT the path to a good marriage.
ReplyDeleteGood points all... But, you learned and have moved on, and are MUCH smarter now!
ReplyDeleteIt is sad to think of all those great guys out there who have missed a chance to have met you. You would/will add much to any mans life and I hope you find the one who will appreciate that fact.
ReplyDeleteTis better to have loved and lost than to have spent the rest of your life with the SOB.
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